If you think this is the first time Stone has publicly said shit like that about women and that it doesn’t mean he’s a low-class trashy sexist, you’re adorable. He called New York Times columnist Gail Collins an “elitist cunt,” said Megyn Kelly had a “nice set of cans,” and once tweeted at New York Times editor Jill Abramson a simple and elegant “DIE BITCH.” Wishing death upon women he hates is one of his hobbies. He’s publicly wished Hillary Clinton would die, and hoped CNN talking head Anna Navarro would kill herself. During the 2008 election, he started an anti-Hillary Clinton group called Citizens United, Not Timid, or CUNT, because he’s human garbage distilled to its most potent form. A single drop can kill a person who hasn’t been ingesting tiny portions of his trashiness for months to build an immunity.
Another key element of trashiness is racism. Trashiness and racism aren’t always a pair, but if both concepts were celebrities, the paparazzi would catch them snuggling on sandy beaches enough to make you call bullshit when their publicist says they aren’t an item. Most of his racist stuff has been directed at former CNN pundit Roland Martin, whom he called a “dumb, embarrassing token,” and on separate occasions a “stupid negro” and a “fat negro.” But let’s look at the bright side: He may be a raging, mouth-frothing racist, but at least he can masterfully combine racial hatred and fat-shaming, like the time he tweeted at Martin “Who made you God, Fattass? Eat somemore Popeye’s.”
All this shit-talking eventually got him banned from CNN and MSNBC. Even Fox News has banned him, and I didn’t even think that was possible. I figured you could eat a liberal live on the air and receive only a first strike. All of that would make him king of the trash, but he solidified the case when he said, “I’m banned at CNN. I’m banned at MSNBC. I’m banned at Fox because I kick their ass.” The only being I can imagine saying that out loud with no irony is an anthropomorphic mullet just before it shotguns a Bud.
In the world of trashy humans, kicking ass is the ultimate expression of dominance. When you haven’t got a shred of dignity or intelligence on your side, fuck it — instigate some shit and put up them dukes. Like the time Stone and fellow classy gentlemen Alex Jones dropped in on the Young Turks political talk show as they were in the middle of a live-stream from the Republican National Convention: