Dolly Partons creation story hits every plot point of the American dream: growing up dirt-poor in Tennessee, catching a break with her songbird voice and hitting the country charts, and now, Dollywood. Shed fit into the presidential pantheon with that bootstraps narrative alone, but her qualifications for president go way further.
Parton is a savvy businesswoman, helping revive the economy of east Tennessee. She is a philanthropist whose net worth is estimated to be over $500m. Yet shes cultivated the rags part of her story so carefully, youd never mistake her for a one-percenter. Shes a Christian, too, and has been married to the same man for 50 years. But beyond the traditional veneer is a true progressive.
Shes a working woman (9-5!) who never had children of her own. She supported Obama. Shes Miley Cyruss godmother! Shes a drag queen inspiration. She famously embraced gay marriage with the quip, they should suffer just like us heterosexuals. Even her cartoonishly feminine personal style is a knowing wink at the expectations our society has of women. She has pretty much every possible voting bloc in the bag.
Once in office, picture her potential as a global leader. Can you imagine the diplomatic skills required to navigate her career all these decades? Shes already circled the globe and met some of the most influential people in the world. Shes a storyteller who inspires empathy and encourages us to listen to our childlike hearts. And theres not one person, here or abroad, who could resist a fireside chat with Dolly. She will clutch them all to her wondrous bosom.
Plus, she can sing the national anthem at her own inauguration.