Anyone whos spent even just a little bit of time around the net in recent years knows that feminists and social justice warriors will take some opportunity to cry discrimination, but its time we had a dispassionate discussion and examined the empirical realities of fairness and equality in gender. If we look at the truth, its apparent that, regardless of what some would have you believe, its not so-called sexism but rather biological gender differences that keep women from success in my finely engineered, six-story mega-labyrinth.
Every year, I abduct hundreds of individuals from their houses and push them on a stolen school bus to a secret location in rural Montana, where lies the treacherous, windowless labyrinth I spent 20 long years designing and building to exacting specifications. When I allow the folks loose in my labyrinth, I give every person the same instructions: They are supposed to complete the maze and defeat the furious, starving bull trapped at the middle of its topmost level. And every year, about 75 percent of those who complete the job and emerge living are guys.
Before you feminazis begin crying about how oppressive my labyrinth is, lets eliminate emotions from the discussion and think logically for a moment. There are several developed differences between womens and mens brains which explain the gender representation disparity in the Hall Of Exalted Heroes, in which I commemorate the men and women who have lived my hellish complex. It’s well-documented that women are genetically predisposed to focus on feelings and believe through an empathetic lens, whereas men are hardwired to focus more on ideas and believe methodically, innately forcing them to do better when encountering the endless onslaught of physical and mental rigors posed by my fearsome death labyrinth.
This naturally existing disparity in logical ability gives guys an edge when it comes to solving the wall-sized cryptogram which enables them access to the mazes Final Roundabout, while women often become obsessed with assisting one another through the puzzle and are felled by chutes concealed in the floor around it. Similarly, while men have no problem rushing past the crying holograms of the childhood selves in the Vault Of Inmost Torment, women frequently cave to their nurturing instincts and try to comfort the realistic 3-D projections, oblivious that the mirage exists only to lure them to the Cobra Crypt. But a gender gap in performance does not imply discriminationit simply demonstrates that there are particular tasks inside my complex network of puzzles and traps that guys are better-suited to compared to women.
This may send a few women and beta males to their Twitters to drag my name through the mud, but its the fact: Womens and mens brains are obviously not functionally interchangeable. If they were, why would so many more women than guys be unwilling to slay the guards who block the false door at the conclusion of Hallway 367? I doubt liberals have a response to that question, and I’d challenge them to let go of their precious identity politics and admit that men are only more assertive than women, and they more often complete my set of Herculean tasks for that reason.
In many ways, the men and women who succeed in my labyrinth are a self-selecting group. I attempt to kidnap about 50 percent men and 50 percent women to take on the challenge, but a fantastic many women choose to escape partway through their maze encounter. We are living in a free society, and the men and women who truly wish to invest months of their lives slowly making their way through my corridors of nightmares can and certainly will do so. The truth is that, evolutionarily, guys are more motivated than women to attempt and achieve the high degree of status that comes out of utilizing their bare hands to kill the bull bull in the highest and innermost room of my compoundits physics that is simple, because males in our species use social status to attract mates and reproduce. With that evidence in your mind, its apparent why its no mistake of mine that there’ll always be more guys completing my labyrinth than women.
Victimized women will complain for diversity programs and mentorship opportunities which will help them choose the Vertical Knife Slide in my labyrinth. Or they will claim that I need to change the maze to add more social, emotionally focused challenges in which they may succeed. The logical fallacy in their argument is painfully obvious: How to do so will prejudice the maze against the hardworking guys who take on my job most cruel, and so worsen the discrimination that these women claim to hate. For this reason, I refuse to consider their pleas into account. I am not going to be swayed by groupthink when it comes to optimizing my enormous labyrinth. Virtue signaling has no location in the mirrored halls of my sprawling maze.
Also, lets not ignore the simple fact that guys face many disadvantages of the own when browsing the labyrinth. Men are a lot more likely to be seduced to the Dark Pond by the gorgeous mouthless geishas and their sultry humming. And the broad male shoulders make it substantially harder for guys to slink through the Gauntlet Of Pendulous Axes. Plus, even if they do emerge undamaged, the increased secretions of mens sweat glands will most likely draw the eye of the carnivorous bats that patrol the Antechamber Of Soulsthe same bats which typically let women drift right past. But no, please, inform me more about male privilege.
My point is not that women dont face added challenges in the labyrinth, or that they dont have valuable skills which can be beneficial in my convoluted warren of spike-lined hallways, psychologically torturous rooms, and piranha-stocked moats. Even though the liberal thought police would rather me keep my mouth closed, Im only trying to say that there are reasons that men dominate in my labyrinth and women dont, and its not because my labyrinth discriminates against women. I’d be overjoyed if the exact same number of men and women crawled sunken-eyed and bloodied from this tar-slicked tunnel that results in the roof of my dreadful maze every year. But that isnt what happensand its because of science, not sexism.
Read more: http://www.clickhole.com/features/news/